Few moments in life feel as overwhelming as hearing the words, “You have breast cancer.” From the minute you hear these words, you can find yourself caught between fear and uncertainty, trying to process a flood of information while wondering what comes next.
One of the first major steps on this breast cancer journey is meeting with your oncologist. While it’s normal to feel anxious about this appointment, knowing how to prepare can help you feel more confident and empowered.
Knowing what to expect, gathering important information, and asking the right questions can enhance this conversation and provide you with confidence and peace of mind as you determine your treatment plan.
What Happens at Your First Oncology Appointment
Your first appointment with your oncologist is for information gathering. It’s an opportunity for your doctor to begin putting the pieces of your breast cancer puzzle together.
During your visit, your oncologist will explain your breast cancer diagnosis and treatment options. He will review your pathology reports and biopsy results with you, discuss your breast cancer type and characteristics, suggest treatment options, answer questions, and discuss your concerns.
You’ll probably hear words and abbreviations that are completely new to you (ER, PR, HER2, Grade, Stage). Don’t panic if it sounds like another language. You aren’t expected to understand it all yet.
Your doctor should explain what you need to know about your specific cancer, what remains to be determined, and what comes next. In some cases, your oncologist may need additional information or recommend further tests or scans before developing a complete treatment plan.
If a treatment plan is presented at this appointment, remember:
You don’t necessarily have to make any decision at that moment. Ask as many questions as you need to understand the process. And if you need a few days to reach your decision, allow yourself that time.
How to Prepare for Your First Breast Cancer Oncology Appointment
Gather Your Information Before Your Appointment
Your cancer center may already have your medical records, especially if your doctors are all part of the same healthcare system. Ask the office ahead of time whether there are records you need to bring or have transferred.
These might include your:
Biopsy pathology report.
Mammogram reports.
Breast ultrasound reports.
MRI reports (if completed).
Surgical reports, if applicable.
Create a Personal Health Summary
It’s also important to have a personal health summary with you to help you complete any paperwork they may give you before the appointment. Your first oncology appointment is nerve-wracking enough without having to remember every detail of your past medical history as well as your family’s medical history.
What to include in your personal health summary:
-Current medications and supplements
-Past surgeries (include date of surgery) and current or previous medical conditions
-Age when you started menstruating, your age when your children were born, and age of menopause if applicable.
-Family history of breast, ovarian, or other cancers
-Family history of other major medical conditions (ex: Alzheimer’s, heart conditions, etc.)
Having this personal health summary with you will help you complete any paperwork they give you before the appointment. It will also help you remember the answers during the appointment, when you’re nervous and more likely to forget something.
Additional Items to Bring:
You’ll also want to bring your photo ID, insurance card, and any referral paperwork the oncology office requests.
Start Writing Down Your Questions
This is one of the most helpful things you can do before your appointment. Why? Because you will probably think of twenty questions at home and remember only three of them once you’re sitting in the exam room. Stress has a funny way of doing that.
Keep a notebook or notes on your phone and add questions whenever they come to mind.
Questions you might want to ask:
About Your Diagnosis:
What type of breast cancer do I have?
What do my pathology results mean?
Do you know the stage yet?
What are my Hormone receptor results?
What is my HER2 status?
Do I need additional tests?
About Treatment:
What treatment do you recommend?
Why are you recommending this treatment?
Will I need surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, hormone therapy, targeted therapy, or some combination?
In what order will my treatments occur?
When do I need to begin?
About Everyday Life:
Will I be able to work during treatment?
What side effects might I experience?
Are there activities I should avoid?
When should I call the office about a symptom or side effect?
The oncologist may answer most of the medical questions in your list during the appointment. You can jot down his answers beside the question in your notebook or on your phone so you can refer to them later.
And remember, you don’t need to ask every question at your first visit. Circle the ones that matter most to you.
Bring Someone With You If You Can
If possible, bring someone you trust to your first appointment. It’s incredibly difficult to listen, process your emotions, think of questions, and remember everything your doctor says all at once.
Your support person can also take notes while you listen. They may remember something you forgot to ask or hear something you missed.
Before the appointment, tell them what you need from them. Maybe you want them to take detailed notes, make sure you ask the important questions on your list, or have someone by your side for emotional support.
If you don’t have someone who can physically go with you, perhaps they could join the conversation by phone or video. Or you can record the appointment for your own reference. Ask your oncology office if this is allowed before the appointment.
What to Wear to Your First Breast Cancer Oncology Appointment
Your doctor may want to perform a breast exam, so plan to wear something easy to remove. It’s best to choose a two-piece outfit rather than a dress or jumpsuit.
Also, medical offices are often chilly, so it’s a good idea to bring a sweater or light jacket to keep you warm.
Preparing Yourself Emotionally for Your Appointment
Now that you’ve physically prepared for your first breast cancer oncology appointment. Let’s talk about the mental and emotional challenges of this meeting.
Understanding Your Breast Cancer, Treatment Options, and Expectations
Your doctor should thoroughly explain the details of your breast cancer diagnosis, treatment options, and what you can expect going through this journey.
It’s important to remember you’re not supposed to become an expert on breast cancer all at once.
You do, however, need to become knowledgeable about your situation so you can make the best decisions concerning your body and its medical treatments.
With that in mind, listen carefully to what your oncologist is saying, and if there is something you don’t understand, don’t simply nod as if you do. Ask for clarification.
Examples of questions like:
“Can you explain what that means?”
“Could you say that in simpler terms?”
“Let me make sure I understand what you’re saying…”
Remember, you deserve to understand the information you’re being given.
Tell Your Doctor What Matters Most to You
Your oncologist needs to know more than what’s written in your pathology report. They need to know more about you. Tell them your concerns and priorities.
Are you worried about working or taking care of your children during your treatment?
Perhaps you are concerned about fertility after treatment?
Or maybe your concerns are financial.
Breast cancer isn’t only about medical issues; it’s about your responsibilities, relationships, fears, hopes, and plans. These things matter, and you need to let your oncologist know about your concerns.
Prepare Yourself for Information Overload
You may walk into your appointment determined to remember every word your oncologist says.
And you may walk out feeling like a kindergartener who sat through a college biology class. That’s normal. You are processing frightening information while trying to learn an entirely new medical vocabulary.
Take notes. Ask for printed information. Also, find out how to contact your care team if you have questions after your appointment.
You don’t have to know everything after this first appointment. However, you need to have a better understanding of what’s happening and what comes next in your breast cancer journey.
Before You Leave, Know What Happens Next
While you may not leave your first appointment with all the answers, you should have some understanding of the next step. Questions you may want to ask:
What Happens Next? Do you need another test, scan, procedure, or appointment?
Who will you see next? A surgeon, radiation oncologist, or another specialist?
When will you hear from someone? Knowing whether you should expect a phone call tomorrow or next week can prevent a lot of unnecessary anxiety.
Who should you call if you have questions? Save the number in your phone.
Know that God is with you at this appointment.
Before you leave home, take a few moments and spend time with God in prayer. Ask Him to provide wisdom to your doctors and to you as you make any decisions required concerning your cancer journey.
Ask God to help you understand what you hear and to remind you of the questions you need to ask.
Finally, ask him for peace when fear slips in, and your thoughts begin to focus on the unknown ahead.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.” Isaiah 41:10
One Appointment at a Time
You’re probably hoping for all the answers at this first appointment. You may already be looking months into your future, wondering what will happen.
And that’s understandable.
But trying to emotionally live through the entire breast cancer journey before you’ve even completed your first oncology appointment will leave you exhausted and overwhelmed. You don’t need strength today for something that might happen three months from now.
You only need enough strength for today.
So gather your paperwork, write down your questions, ask someone to go with you to your appointment, and say a prayer. Then walk through the door.
That’s enough. One day at a time. You don’t have to know the entire road ahead. You only need to take the next step – and trust that God will be there with you.
If you’d like a FREE PDF checklist of everything you need to prepare for your first breast cancer oncology appointment, you can find it in the resource library. Subscribe (free!) to our newsletter (the sign-up form is at the bottom of this page) and get instant access to the Ultimate First Breast Cancer Oncology Appointment Checklist plus other wonderful printables in the LifeReEnvisioned resource library.
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